Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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