I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize