I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize