I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
