Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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