Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize