ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
