i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
