You're completely useless in the revolution.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
