Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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