I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
