Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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