I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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