"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
