guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize