Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
