suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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