i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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