It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize