As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
