I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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