it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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