Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
