you traded sex for a burrito?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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