I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
