I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize