Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
