this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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