i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
