don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
