Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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