So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
