it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
you never un-have a 4some
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
