I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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