my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize