Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can text with my tongue
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
