If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
