The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
