How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
