You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
