The maid of honor just puked.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
