Don't you send me to vm
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
