they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
