I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
