i was born a porn star she said
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
