I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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