party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
