it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
