Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
