Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
