Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
