people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
