Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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