yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
