Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
