Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize