What did we do last night that was yellow?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
