I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
