its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have post one night stand depression
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
