:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
