the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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