So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Pants are for mortals
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
