lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize